the art of self control

Welcome back to Sunday Goods!

Let’s be real—controlling our reactions isn’t always easy. When something upsets us, our first instinct might be to lash out, shut down, or spiral into overthinking. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the way we react can shape not just our relationships but also our own peace of mind.

We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. And while that sounds great in theory, actually practicing it? That’s the hard part.

Why our reactions matter

Every action has a ripple effect. Whether it’s a frustrating text, an unexpected comment, or a situation that didn’t go as planned, our response can either escalate things or bring us closer to a solution. More importantly, our reactions affect us just as much as they do others. When we react impulsively, we might feel regret, guilt, or even more frustration later. But when we take a moment to process, we give ourselves the chance to respond in a way that aligns with who we want to be.

I’ve had moments where I let my emotions take over—where I said something I didn’t mean or let a bad mood control my whole day. But I’ve also learned that stepping back, even just for a second, can change everything.

How to gain control over your reactions

1. Pause Before Responding

When something triggers you, your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode. Before reacting, take a breath. Count to five. Walk away if you need to. Giving yourself even a few seconds creates space between the emotion and the action.

2. Identify the Root Cause

Ask yourself: Why am I reacting this way? Is it really about the situation at hand, or is it bringing up something deeper? Sometimes, our reactions are less about what’s happening in the moment and more about past experiences or unresolved emotions.

3. Shift Your Perspective

Not everything is personal. Sometimes, people project their own frustrations onto us without even realizing it. Instead of assuming the worst, try to see things from a different angle. Is there another way to interpret the situation?

4. Choose Your Energy Wisely

You don’t have to engage in every argument or match someone else’s negativity. Protecting your peace means knowing when to respond and when to let things go. Ask yourself: Is this worth my energy? If not, it’s okay to disengage.

5. Find a Healthy Outlet

Emotions need a release—but that doesn’t mean snapping at someone. Whether it’s journaling, working out, venting to a trusted friend, or even just taking a walk, find ways to process your feelings before reacting.

6. Practice Self-Awareness

The more we understand our triggers, the easier it becomes to control our reactions. Pay attention to patterns. Are there specific situations or people that always push your buttons? Recognizing these triggers can help you prepare for them in the future.

7. Give Yourself Grace

You won’t get it right every time, and that’s okay. Learning to control your reactions is a process, not a switch you can flip overnight. When you do slip up, reflect on it, but don’t dwell. Growth comes from awareness, not perfection.

Some final thoughts -

At the end of the day, controlling our reactions isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about responding in a way that aligns with our values and protects our inner peace. The more we practice, the more natural it becomes. And over time, we start to notice something powerful: we feel lighter, calmer, and more in control—not just with our reactions, but in our lives.

Thanks for being here, and I hope this resonated with you in some way. Remember, you have more control than you think.

With care,

Elle